Dear CIROS is an online initiative to link students together in the unprecedented times and isolating distance we live in today.
Dear Ilka,
Firstly, I must thank you for including that picture of the Hague from your window. It took me back to the intricate charm of our city. When I’m there, I’ll often catch myself thinking it’s another dreary day in the Netherlands. Suddenly, around 5 or 6, the clouds drop, the sun hits the ground, it reflects orange onto the buildings and I’ll feel much smaller pedalling on my bike, like I’m part of a hopeful collective. I can only imagine this feeling to be enhanced with the chaotic spring you were talking about, as days get longer and our consciousness gets fuzzier.
From countless hours lost online, I know you’re not the only one remembering your dreams more and I’m reminded of Mac Miller’s lyrics: “I spent the whole day in my head / Do a little spring cleaning, I'm always too busy dreaming” . The way I see it, our brains are shocked they have so little to process and so much time to do it in. They’re busy dredging up every minor detail they can find, bringing it back to the surface of our subconscious and having it dance wildly around our mind whenever we drift off to sleep.
To the writer of the next letter, are you also dreaming more?
You asked me how I was dealing with the situation, and with a roof over my head and nobody I know personally deemed an essential worker, I prefer to remind myself of how fortunate I am. When my kids ask how I dealt with the Great Sanitary Crisis of 2020, I will very probably just answer “I shaved my eyebrows, dyed my hair pink and complained on the Internet”.
Like writer #1, I am also writing this next to my asleep younger sister. There is something so eerie about hearing her breathe in such a stable manner, like she isn’t worried and she’s grown-up enough to deal calmly with any situation thrown her way. The world is undergoing one big panic attack and these 4 weeks of isolation feel like the blissful ignorance between two sharp intakes of breath.
What will be the first thing you do when you leave quarantine? I think I’ll head into the city, with every cell in my body tingling, chiming and celebrating, and when I enter Paris, I’ll stop.
I will look around, and take my first deep breath in a long time. And I can’t wait.
一 Anonymous, writing from France
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